You are the God of this City

How do I begin! I have so many memories and stories from our journey to Haiti and I am still processing all that I experienced in that country full of strong, perseverant, beautiful people. Beginning at 11:23 am on the day that we expected to depart California, I learned to give up my expectations and instead learn to rely completely and joyfully on the plan God had for us. In succession we were told to check out of our hotel rooms 5 hours earlier than expected, leave the hotel an hour earlier than expected with bags that quickly became 10 lbs lighter that expected, leave LAX 3 hours later than expected, leave from Miami instead of Ft. Lauderdale to arrive in Haiti over 24 hours later than expected, figure out activities for 3x as many kids as expected, and I could go on but I think y’all get the idea! God blessed me with an absolutely WONDERFUL team of girls who prayed with and for each other, looked out for one another, learned from and with one another, served our Savior together, sang His praises together, and loved His children together. There is a quote by Henry Ward Beecher which says “Children are the hands by which we take hold of heaven” so I want to tell you about several Haitian children that took hold of my hand and taught me to do the will of God on earth as is done in heaven.

Kevin: I met this sweet little boy on the first day when he was searching for a place to sit on the front row bench. His big dark eyes were filled with tears. I held out my hand to him and he hurried over and grabbed it and soon wanted me to hold him. After that if I ever had set him down, he followed me around and grabbed my hand as soon as it was free. I loved having a little shadow but I wanted him to get involved with the various games and crafts and I really wanted to see him smile. The next day we were up at the front leading some songs and I saw my little friend wandering down the center aisle scanning over all our faces. When his eyes reached mine he hurried over to me again and held out both of his hands, wanting to be picked up. Of course, my heart melted right away and I quickly scooped him up and sang the rest of the songs, encouraging him to do the hand motions and sing along. After the songs and Bible story, our team had decided to try running the activities in stations which ended up being rather chaotic. Since I was in charge of one of the craft stations, he kept getting pushed around in his attempt to follow me. I was a little worried about him till I saw that Rachel had picked him up and was looking after him. After the stations were finished, I looked around for my little friend and I saw him sitting on Victoria’s lap. I went over to say hi and he reached out his arms towards me again, completely forgiving the fact that and hour or so earlier his attachment to me had caused him to be smack dab in the middle of an energetic and rather chaotic mass of kids. So I picked my goal back of to try to make him smile. On Monday my little friend found me again and I finally figured out that his name was Kevin. He was much more talkative and was very interested in the prizes that some kids were winning through some games so I got him to participate a little bit. After a while I saw him looking around so I went over and scooped him up and gave him a hug (just like I had many times before) and for some reason this time he broke out into a big bright adorable smile. I was so surprised I burst out laughing and his smile got even bigger. I don’t know what clicked but after that he would often flash his bright adorable little smile when I came over to him. One of my teammates said that she had learned that it must bring God pleasure when we cling to Him as she thought about how she loved when these precious children clung to her. I love thinking about that and little Kevin taught me about the joy that comes from seeing someone take delight in our presence. It our privilege to smile in the presence of God and it is amazing to think that when we delight in Him, we bring Him joy!

Sophanie: I fell in love with this precious little girl at the Delmas 31 orphanage where my half of the team was blessed to spend our last day in Haiti. She has a heart-warming smile and contagious laugh and it was my joy to make her laugh and smile all day long.  I never heard her speak a word but thank God that laughter is universal! She does not let her body or her physical abilities, which others may deem limited, hinder the way that she spreads joy and invites others to smile with her. God has given Sophanie an unquenchable spirit of joy. She is a sweet reminder to me that we are called to set out mind on things of the Spirit for they bring life and peace. When we keep in step with the Spirit we are free to receive and spread the love and joy that Christ lavished upon us!

Carlo: Carlo is energetic, curious, persistent, and playful. He came into the church on the first day looking to have a good time. His mother came with him but sat on the side resting and watching us interact with Carlo. Although there is not much capacity to diagnosis the disabilities of many of the children in Haiti, Carlo displayed many qualities that are characteristic of Autism.  At the end of the first day I was playing catch with Carlo with a brightly colored ball.  Carlo was laughing and just consumed by the thrill of throwing and bouncing the ball. Carlo's mother came up to me and, by pointing to the ball and then to her son, she asked if it were for him. Before I really understood, I responded positively and she got the ball from Carlo, wrapped it in a scarf that she was holding, and denied Carlo’s efforts to get the ball back. At first I was confused but I worked to interest Carlo in a different activity and began to process what had just happened. To the best of my knowledge, the mother had seen that her son took joy from this simple toy and was concerned that he might lose it as he threw it around in a church full of 100+ children. She was willing to let her son be unhappy for a moment so that he might later re-receive the gift that had brought him joy in a more protected environment. This made me think that my perspective, so often limited and narrow-minded, hinders me from understanding why God may take something away or tell me to wait. But this interaction with Carlo’s mother was a good reminder of how God has the best in mind for us. Later on in the week I was able to describe to Carlo's mother some of the strategies that I used to help Carlo focus and interact with us. Becca and I were also able to provide her with some simple training on sign language that might help ease communicate between her and her son. More importantly, we were able to encourage her and tell her that she and her son were loved, by us and by The Lord and that His love gives us strength and honor!

I learned so much from such a short time. I firmly believe that God has a plan for the country of Haiti. As we drove through one of the tent cities one day, Becca started singing “God of this City” by Chris Tomlin and I could not think of any better summary.

You're the Light in this darkness 
You're the Hope to the hopeless 
You're the Peace to the restless 

There is no one like our God 
There is no one like our God 

For greater things have yet to come 
And greater things are still to be done in this City!

Wake up, Today is the Day!

“We wake up every morning needing Jesus desperately. What changes our life is when we wake up every morning realizing that we need Jesus desperately and living in His strength every second of the day” –paraphrase from Joni

The second week of my internship consisted of travelling to a Joni and Friends Family Retreat in northern California. I have served at 9 JAF family retreats in the past 6 years so I know that camp is too amazing and surprising to get used to. However at family retreat, I have always encountered a beautiful picture the body of Christ as it was meant to be because camp is a place of complete acceptance and genuine love. It is also a place where I wake up everyday realizing my desperate need for my Savior and realizing that I can only serve in the strength that He provides. Many people talk about JAF camp as a glimpse of heaven, but I agree with one father who said that he saw it as the genuine body of Christ in action on this earth. (if you have any interest, hear more about family retreats! http://www.joniandfriends.org/television/joni-and-friends-family-retreat/ ). I only wish that it was not only at camp each year that the body of Christ displayed this type of acceptance, but the only way I can change that is to start with myself. Family retreat inspires me to persevere in praying and seeking to genuinely accept all people through Christ’s love as He has accepted me!

Marlin was my buddy at Family Retreat this year! He is twelve years old, has a hilarious sense of humor, and loves everything to do with water (from swimming to drinking to washing hands). Marlin has autism and is comforted by schedules so we always went over the plan for each day. But that meant that sometimes we struggled to focus on what was happening right in front of us. So I decided to try to teach him a song that we could sing to help focus on the present. I tried out a few which he quickly dismissed (probably in part because of my below par singing voice). But then, while we were playing at the pool one day we found a song that he liked: “Lean on Me”. I would sing it to him while we played with some of the toys in the quiet room or while we were sitting taking breaks from running around on the lawn. One of the highlights of my week was when I was singing quietly to myself and suddenly I realized Marlin was softly singing all the words with me! Needless to say, after that we had lots of sing-alongs much to both of our delight. The song “Lean on Me” is a touching example of how we can support each other in our times of need. Two are better than one for each can help the other succeed (Ecc. 4:9-12). I have been blessed to experience this type of community in the team of interns with whom I have been learning and serving these two weeks!

 These past few days we have been debriefing and preparing for Haiti and I can finally say that today is the day!! When we arrive, we plan to lead VBS and parent training at a special needs orphanage and at churches in the surrounding area! We have gathered and prepared all the supplies but more importantly we have been preparing our hearts and minds for the work that God will do through us as we seek to strengthen His kingdom in Haiti! We are so excited! Please keep us in your prayers, that we may live according to the Spirit for “to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:6), that we will wake up every day recognizing that we need Jesus desperately, and that no matter what obstacles we may face God will shine through us so we might share the hope that “in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us”!! (Romans 8:37)

The Banquet for the Broken

            I wrote this post on our drive up to the Joni and Friends family retreat in Scott’s Valley at Mission Springs last Sunday but I did not realize that once we arrived at camp, I would not have access to Wifi until we arrived back at the hotel in Thousand Oaks late last night, so anyways here is my post from last week! And this week’s post is on the way!

This first week of my internship has been simply and yet extravagantly blessed. When I first learned about this internship, I was uncertain of this week of textbook learning from a book called Beyond Suffering. I prayed that I would have an open mind and let my heart be prepared for the upcoming weeks of service. I could sum up the week by saying that our God is absolutely and incredibly faithful!! But I want to share more than a sentence about everything that I have learned this week so I hope your looking for more than a summary J

            Through my experiences and through the lectures I heard, I grew in my understanding of the importance of stories. My heart is captivated by the stories of the incredible people who surround me. I’ve heard stories of surrender, healing, conviction, passion, trust, and generosity, all of which originate in brokenness. In Luke 14 the Great Host tells us His servants to go out into the alleys and byways to compel the blind and lame, the outwardly broken, to come to His feast so that His house might be full. Now this took a while to fully register for me so I’m going to say it again: Our God wants His house full of people with disabilities! We need humility to admit our own brokenness before we can come in and help fill our Lord’s house, then also we can go out in love to help gather those who feel ill-equipped and invite them to the great banquet for the broken. “The only fitness God requires is that we feel our need of Him!” Praise be to the One who says it’s ok not to be ok, who invites us to come empty so that we may be filled with His grace and love. The community with disabilities is the largest unreached people group in the world, but the fields are ripe for the harvest and the differences between their struggles and ours are not so different as they once seemed.

 God has given each person a story, but in this fast-paced world we can get too caught up in comparison (which so often turns to pride or self pity) and we forget that when we share our stories, we are less likely to criticize or judge and more likely to trust and understand how to best encourage each other. Our stories are often filled with suffering, maybe because “God is not as interested in removing the problems that we see as He is in removing the selfishness to which we are blind”. Suffering could be described as “a splash-over from hell,” and sometimes God might use suffering to grab our attention or wake us up from complacency. But if hard times are a spoonful of hell, then are easy times a spoonful of heaven? No, rather “it is when we find God in the midst of suffering that we taste the joy of being in the presence of God”. For “the more we lean on our Savior, the stronger we find Him to be!”

Nevertheless, it is hard to reconcile the fact that God is all powerful and yet suffering still exists in the world. Timothy Keller once explained this in his book Reason for God saying that if we believe that we have a God big enough to eradicate the world of suffering then we must also believe that we have a God big enough to have a purpose for suffering bigger than our mortal minds can comprehen. When questioned about why she trusts a God that has allowed her to suffer quadriplegia for 40 years Joni responded that she has faith because Jesus knows the pain of this world. He was paralyzed physically when His hands and feet were nailed to the cross, experienced the relational poverty of misunderstanding, betrayal, and rejection and was a homeless wanderer on this earth. And He calls us to follow Him. We need to realize that “the promise of suffering is found in bold not in the fine print when we sign up to be in the army of the Lord”.

Beyond this, our “God is a Healer” as Mike Hoggatt’s daughter proclaims. She a precious little girl whom he and his wife adopted at age 3; she is a cancer survivor and has been diagnosed with autism. I believe that our God is in the business of healing. But to understand that healing, we must understand that God’s value system is not like the value system of this world. Our value in the eyes of God comes from our Savior. God already loves us infinitely and cannot love us any more or any less than He does at this very second. And since our value is based on what God has done, we come back once again to the idea that God invites us into His presence just as we are, with our stories of brokenness and healing. “Suffering is the textbook for learning our own identity” and for bringing us into a place of community. 1 Thessalonians is a story about perseverance through suffering and remaining steadfast through affliction as Paul encourages the church of the Thessalonians. I want to conclude this post as Paul closes his letter:

            “Now may the God of peace himself sanctify you completely 

and may your whole spirit and soul and body be kept blameless

 at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. 

He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it… 

The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you” 

 -1 Thessalonians 5:23-24,28

*Most of the quotes in this post are from when Joni came to speak to us while we were in class at the IDC!

Radically Inclusive

I am excited to start up my blog again to write about this amazing internship opportunity that I am blessed to be a part of for the month of June! This Missions and Ministry internship is through the Cause for Life program with Joni and Friends International Disabilities Center. The past two days have been a lovely whirl-wind of putting faces to names. I have encountered and come to personally know people and places that, prior to Monday, were only familiar to me by way of the words of others. In the short time since I hopped off the plane at LAX, I have been overwhelmingly blessed as I strive to be attentive to the specific ways that the Lord has prepared my heart for this time. My desire is that I may praise Him with purity, love Him deeply, and serve Him faithfully.

            I prayed that our team, all with similar passions and hearts may be encouraging to one another. This prayer I based on Romans 1:12 where Paul expresses his longing to come to the Romans so that they “may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith”. There is a special type of friendship that forms in times like these when we know we have only a month to be in each others company, and I love how people become vulnerable when we know that we have to trust each other in order to form community so that we can minister to others. Our conversations have truly been blessed, and have been an encouragement to us all. In introductions, something that stood out to me but was the beautiful balance in each person’s story between surrender and persistence; each person advancing God’s kingdom to reach this broken world in our own individual way.

            One phrase that remained in my mind after the many lectures and speeches that we heard on Tuesday was “radically inclusive”. This defines God and it should in turn define His church. Joni Eriksson Tada lives this radically inclusive lifestyle in a most beautiful way. On our tour of the IDC, we passed a small side room which beautifully depicted and explained Joni’s story and all the ways that God has allowed her to be His hands and feet even more through her own limited use of her earthly hands and feet. We then passed the radio center hearing more about all the ministry outreaches in which she participates and then walked by her office where we glimpsed through the office window that she was recording video. We passed by, being told that we would get to meet her later, but before we had made it around the next corner she comes out and asks if we had missed her office and welcomed us in with a warm and heartfelt smile. I do not think that Joni will knowingly miss a chance to invite someone in and cover them with the ridiculously radical love of Christ. I want to become more like Christ by learning to live a life full of love and radical inclusion.

            Well, I am off to day 3 but I will update again later!!